Quandary in Peril

You know you won’t keep this up, so why try, what good will it do?
What is the way to pushing forward?s
When is the day that my persistence is waiting for?
What sense will I make?
Who will care?
How will people react?
Will they think I am crazy, or will they know I am crazy? Either or both?
I can tell it won’t make any difference, at least, that’s my dream. I am a great writer, I have great ideas to share, and why should I care if no one else believes that?
How do I prove that I have an exceptional gift?
Who am I to make such an audacious claim?
I certainly can’t be an objective judge, of my own deep insights. But, perhaps appreciation and belief in oneself must start somewhere. But is it good enough, one person’s appreciation of their own intelligent ideas? Isn’t our worth best validated by another mind or many minds.
But where does one start, sharing one’s mind. and who can one believe? Naysayers, or the yeasayers? Perhaps both must be considered. How do you know how wrong or right we are until we share ourselves?
What if the reception is devastating, leaving one bereft of hope and their mind clamoring for its own demise along with others who scoffed at one’s lofty musings that barely skidded across the floor. Let’s not entirely relate our moon soaked dreams to conspiratorial ramblings of an old soak wishing beyond hope of deeper than the deepest sea of understanding and insight.
But remember, our goal was the dissolving of quandaries. What’s our quandary today?
The quandary of what came first, the recognition or the cognition of careful considerations destined for greatness, but knowing initial offerings would be compared to the greatest and the slightest preceding works of literary giants. Now back to what am I accomplishing with a rant of mediocre reasoning. A determined effort of will and imagination can leave me in an instant, unless some sense of my own appreciation isn’t forthcoming immediately. Still looking for what I am meant to reveal, what comes is the vague but definite stillness of knowing that without venturing there is no adventure. And this is one of my first steps in the journey of a thousand miles of stellar soul searching.